Modern Masculinity

Graphic with the text ‘Empathetic & Tough’ in large letters. The lower part of the image is blue with white lettering, the upper part is white with blue lettering. The ‘&’ sign is placed in light blue in the centre
Graphic with the text ‘ Doers & Dreamers’ in large letters. The upper part of the image is blue with white lettering, the lower part is white with blue lettering. The ‘&’ sign is placed in light blue in the centre

When is a man a man?

Graphic in the shape of a postage stamp. Inside is the text: ‘ The space that boys and men have to explore and express their identity could fit on a postage stamp. It’s not enough.  At the bottom right is a round logo with the words ‘You are right here’ in German and a blue location pin symbol.

On 19 November 2024, International Men's Day, Nils Pickert (@pickinese) gave a keynote speech entitled ‘When is a man a man? - As long as there have to be “real” men, we're all the wrong ones’. He took us into his world of thought, which is all about rigid role models, clichés and the narrow spaces in which boys and men are supposed to find their identity.

It is constantly said: ‘Men are not allowed to do XYZ.’ But what are they allowed to do? What identity can they really have? Boundaries are important, but identity cannot be defined by prohibitions alone. Men also need role models and positive examples.

Instead, we define how boys and men should be and which path they should take. But they have never simply been allowed to be who they want to be. The space they have to try out and live out their identity fits on a postage stamp. That is not enough.

The answer to this dilemma is equality.

‘How we are born and which chromosomes are assigned to us is simply a lottery. [...] The fact that the world is everything, but not binary in any sense of the word, is the first confrontation we need. In the family, at school and elsewhere. Being human is more important than gender roles.’

‘It is important for us men to realise that ‘feminisation’ is not a dirty word, but a sign of strength. ❤️’

‘I found this thought ‘How can I be a good person?’ very impressive and helpful. If you keep repeating this when you think and talk about your life, it will have an impact.’

‘Especially in this day and age, when [...] ‘women's suffrage’ is being questioned, internet personalities are agitating against ‘feminised’ men and when men are still looked at the wrong way if they don't buy the 27in1 car shower gel, it's incredibly important to do this public relations work.’

Ressources